Rudy Giuliani rushed to Walter Reed Medical Center; ends up at ‘Walter Reed Hardware and Landscaping’ | The Bluff
The last few weeks have been for Rudy Giuliani, former Mayor of New York City and current record holder of C-SPAN. After a train wreck of a trial attempting to combat the reality that Joe Biden is the U.S. President-elect, the revelation that he was also infected with the coronavirus was shocking to the bluff team, largely due to our assumption that that his vampiric form exceeded the ability to fall ill with human disease. Even so, Giuliani was taken to the Walter Reed Medical Center to face another not-so-shocking complication.
It turned out that Giuliani and his team had accidentally contacted Walter Reed Hardware and Landscaping, a small company 20-30 miles from the famous military hospital, to let them know they were going to storm in for a moment and for a room and prepare a bed for Giuliani’s arrival. Giuliani and his co-workers came to the small businesses a moment later, creating panic and confusion between the small business’s staff and the team of unpaid interns working for the ghoul of a man whom the bluff must legally identify as Rudy Giuliani.
The bluff team isn’t sure how this massive confusion began, but sources close to the Giuliani team believe the fault was entirely due to Rudy Giuliani’s shoulders. The former mayor insists that he call Walter Reed himself. In his hurry, Giuliani apparently chose the wrong “Walter Reed” and failed to provide the small establishment with any information other than the phrase “I need a bed and a room now” before Walter Reed with the man who once did it had, could further clarify married his second cousin.
Mitch Jablinsky, owner of Walter Reed Hardware and Landscaping, reached out to the bluff upon request to discuss the issue. He stated that they “did not know about Mr. Giuliani’s illness” and that they “prepared a bed and a room for Rudy”. It is noted that the bed was made of a multitude of flowers and the room was designed with the intention of using it for another chaotic press conference with terrible words that would confuse the crowds even more.
After many inhuman screams, delusions and the draining of petrol from Giuliani, the former mayor left the small shop, his team followed closely behind. The bluff can confirm that Giuliani is doing relatively well and that he is being cared for in the correct medical center. However, sources close to the medical team who are helping one of America’s craziest people note that they have difficulty reading his test results, fail to identify a blood type, or classify him as medically “human.”
The bluff team will be updated as the situation develops.